Another Challenge for the Writer's Platform

Here I am again, with yet another challenge from Rachael Harrie's FourthWriter's Platform-Building Campaign.  This time, we have a variety of options.  To begin with, we have one written prompt, and four seemingly unrelated photos (one is below), which to me, is the ultimate in challenges!

Since I am off to a Family Economics Conference this weekend, I chose to do only one of the options...another flash fiction of less than 200 words.  And  I'd like you to make a comment below.  Let me know what you liked (if anything), and how I could have done better.

If you'd like more info on the Writer's Platform Campaign Challenge check this link.  I'm #70, if you'd like to give me a thumbs up.  It would be much appreciated!  And while you are there, check out the many other creative entries...


Here goes:


Too Close For Comfort


Hyperventilating because of my near death experience, I leaned against the rusty remains of a concrete bridge, thankful to be alive.  Miraculously, I had only a cut on my leg. Becky, my best friend, had rescued me again. But this time, it wasn't from a social faux pas. And she had only wet hair to show for the feat. 

Swimming  near a tributary of the Amazon, I suddenly felt myself pulled under and spun like a whirlpool on a wooden spoon.  I panicked, and cried out to God. Thoughts of my young son on a Brazilian Estate flashed through my mind. Instantly, Becky pulled me from the undertow, and onto the bank, where national children rummaged through a garbage dump.

A brilliant web of tiny stars whirled before my still closed eyes. "Vicki, Vicki...are you okay?  Wake up...speak to me!"

Coming back to reality, I felt a gentle slap on my cheek. Becky had somehow delivered me to the crumbling bridge, leaning me against it to catch my breath.

"Looks like it's not your time to go, Vicki...the mission still needs your help!"

I smiled weakly, thanking God once more...I would see my son again.



So, what do you think?  Any constructive comments would be appreciated...thanks for stopping by!

First Campaigner's Challenge

Rachel has come up with a challenge for us, and here it is from her website, 'Rach Writes' :

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

• end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)

• include the word "orange" in the story

• write in the same genre you normally write

• make your story 200 words exactly!

 Well, I took the challenge, and below, is my piece. I also kept to exactly 200 words, used the word 'orange' in the text, and ended with "everything faded":                                        



                                                      THE CLIMB


 Shadows crept across the wall as I stood in the dark room.  It had been 14 years since I visited the old homestead.  But, this time it was different.

Gone were the carefree days of youth, when the wind caressed my face as I swung higher and higher, seated on an old board secured on both sides with a rope.  My favorite tree, a strong and sturdy oak, had thick limbs reaching in all directions, hearty enough for a makeshift swing. I would run to that swing when I was troubled, and needed to think, or, at times, talk to God.

I danced and twirled as I made my way through the field of orange poppies, almost tripping as I went. The anticipation was too much.  Wanting to beat my last record, I attempted to swing higher than the day before, stretching my toes to meet the sky. I had carved marks on the trunk of the massive tree to commemorate my climbs.  At one point, it occurred to me that I could reach so great a height, that as I leaned back, it would cause me to flip backwards and spin through the air.  I did.  Then, everything faded...


 There it is...something I have never done before! I'm accustomed to writing for children, or sharing my thoughts in a devotional. So, Rachel's challenge has stretched me. Thanks, Rachel! What do you think? I'd love any comments you might have to help me hone my craft...